Smaller sizes, bigger goals.

I survived Halloween with enjoying only a small York Peppermint Pattie; success! I can't say temptations weren't lurking having 5 kids for the weekend, but I did well. I've actually done excellent with temptations and food choice. My fill, almost 2 weeks ago, is ok. I can tell I don't have near the restriction I did a few days following, so I'm getting hunger pains about 3 hours after each meal, versus the 4-6 hours I originally had. I don't eat more than I should so I don't know how much over a cup I could eat. It's a lot of pure will power right now. I will do nothing to sabotage this and hopefully can get in for a 2nd adjustment prior to my December 8th appointment.

Friday afternoon I stopped in Old Navy (my favorite store) and was looking for something new to wear for the weekend. I took a size 18 jeans in the dressing room for giggles, just to see how much more I needed to loose before I could purchase. O-MY-GOODNESS did they slide on beautifully, zip and button right up? a size 18! My clothes are fitting so much better and I've been able to fit into things I've not wore in years. It's so exciting, possibly euphoric.

Having said that, as silly as this sounds - it wasn't until this weekend that it really set in how fat I had gotten. How the hell did I not truly know what I had done to myself? I've lost nearly 30lbs, yet I'm still a fat ass. I was in pictures over the weekend and just couldn't believe that I was still.just. big. People have noticed and have had many kind things to say, which puts me over cloud 9, but personally, I just want to see a skinny me. It's pushed me even further toward motivation and I will not stop until I get to my goal.

I've done awesome with my fitness goals! Tonight I start a 6-weeks Intro class to Nia. I'm excited to see what this really is; you can check it out here and here. I'm going to attempt Bodypump again tomorrow followed by Zumba. In addition to classes, I hit about 2 miles on the treadmill each night as well. My numbers are looking great and I feel wonderful.

I've not been this happy about myself in such a long, long time.

where did this come from?

Last night was my 2nd night at the gym. I ran 1.5 straight miles at 4.2 mph. I finished with a half mile walk and 5 minutes on the elliptical. Where did this come from? Saturday I walked for 30 minutes and about died. I haven't ran in years. My legs became numb and I felt no pain, I just ran. I ran for an entire mile and a half. Thank you motivation fairy for tapping my shoulder with your magical wand. Come again?

I stress over the amount of exercise needed and daily caloric goal to achieve. My nutritionist tells me one thing, the internet another. I know if one don't get enough calories, loss can stop. Currently I am getting 700-1000; is that normal? As for exercise, is it 5 days, thirty-minute workouts? Or 3 days, 1 hour workouts? Do I need to go everyday? I'm over-analyzing everything because I just want to get it right. The band is doing everything it's supposed to do for me; I want to make sure I hold up my end of the deal.

[picture: my post-workout stats: 35 min workout]