Tuesday, October 23, 2007

where have i gone?

ok, two days in a row....my efforts are starting off strong. today on my mind is a recent comment made by my best buddy. she recently went on a vaca to the sunshine state to visit her dad and his family. while there she went to a mall, which of course is nothing compared to our fabulous west town mall. she said, "after a trip to FL i realize that Coach and Louis Vuitton bags are a must and everyone had high heels on at the mall. everyone was high maintenance. i would fit in perfect there." yes, my girl is a bit of high maintenance....and i am as well, except only in a different way now. kids has totally changed me. my shopping habits have decreased something awful - a month used to add no less than 15 new outfits, 5-10 pairs of shoes and a few purses, not to mention several pieces of jewelery and my closet stock supply of purfumes and lotions. I - was the definition of high maintenance. now - when is the last time i went on a shopping frenzy, had an entire weekend of retail therapy?? my high maintenance status now consists of everyone in my house being on a schedule that must be adhered to, putting toys back in their place, clothes where they go, shoes in thier closet, plates in the dishwasher when thier dirty....my high maintenance status is my household. i was so prissy, literally. now, it's 100% kids. now, the kids are 100% joy...but im not suppose to loose myself within it all. at times i get soooo jealous of my single friends, i mope around. i miss the spontaneous plans to hit the local bars for happy hour, or spending friday nights out on the town, saturday mornings at the mall and nights with the gang. as i just turned 28 i feel so much older than i am - and i hate it. i guess im kind of referring back to the "fast forward" thing my life feels like its been in lately. i don't want feel so old. i want to be young again and have more of the laid back, spontaneous fun that we used to have. now its kids get home from school....cook....homework....tv...bathtime...bedtime...get kids ready for school...do laundry, clean, run errands...and wait for them to get back home. i know alot of people that have kids and they have more of a social life than I do. i've fell in a slump. i need to get out....someone, PLEASE throw me a rope....i'm waiting....and reaching.....

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