Tuesday, March 22, 2011


A huge appetite, bad habits and total disregard for my joyous ONEderland accomplishment last week - this describes the last five days of my life. I've had a really rough time. It started here....and only got worse.

I had a fill scheduled last week, in which I was called to cancel as my surgeon was going to be out of the office. It was fine, I thought at the time. I wasn't going to get one anyway, as I felt I was in my happy zone. By the time the weekend had rolled around, one would think my band had been punctured and all the fill quickly leaked out. I've had no restriction since. I've been able to eat bread, pizza, and *hanging my head in shame, Shoney's Breakfast Bar....even worse, 2 plates full.

What in the world has happened?

How did I got from a state of euphoria for reaching ONEderland and such an intense level of focus to having such an awful, awful weekend. The appetite is one thing; the choices I made are an entire issue within itsself.

I am sitting at what I thought was around 8.2cc in my 10 cc band. How in the hell can I not have perfect restriction? Luckily, I called today and can get in for a fill tomorrow.

Until then, yell at me. slap my hand. scold me.


I'm embarassed, ashamed. And worst of all, disappointed in myself. For those who I had inspired, I am sorry I let you down so horribly.


  1. You have not let us down!!! We all have moments like this, in fact I could pretty much write this exact post on my own blog. I've been doing the same things for the last few days.

    Stand up, dust yourself off and keep going. You can do this!! We all have bad days, you jus thave to pull yourself out of that mentality and keep going.

    I'm trying to do that today. I'm going to write everything down and not get take out for dinner even though I have been obsessing about it all morning long. Sigh.

    We can do this!!

  2. Nikki, None of us is perfect 100% of the time. Beating yourself up doesn't help the matter and in fact might make it worse. I've been known to go off on a pity-binge before. You know what you need to do and I am confident that you will do it!

  3. I am in the same boat doll. Only my slip up has been going on way longer than the weekend. I need to have my ass kicked. I think we will both jump back in...probably you sooner than me!

  4. First, you haven't let anyone down and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

    Second, you recognize the choices were bad. Dust yourself off, pick yourself up and move on. My choices sucked this weekend. So this week, I've planned out all my meals and snacks to get back on track. It's what we do. We all fall...those who get back up are successful.

    You can do this!

  5. Shake it off, you pretty thing you. You have done NO SUCH THING. You inspire me constantly and I'm hardly let down. This is what happens. This journey is a roller coaster and we have each other to help pick us up when we fall.

    You rock, sister! And you WILL get back on track. I know you can do it. Hugs!

  6. Girl don't be so hard on yourself. (easier said then done... I know)

    Everyone is entitled to a slip up... it is the realizing it and getting back on track right away that counts!

  7. It happens to all of us. I feel like sometimes, I can't believe I've come so far, and don't think it will stick , so I have to test myself...crazy but true, you'll be fine, forgive and move forward!

  8. I know how you feel. I slip sometimes too. It happens! I think we can all relate to this. You just have to move on from here. :)

  9. it happens to everyone...I so often have a really bad several days right after I have reached a milestone...whether I am rewarding myself or get comfortable/cocky, it tends to happen...good thing is, I recognize it and get back on the horse, just as you will!!

  10. You will be FINE. Honest! And since you know what you did made you feel yuckky..you will probably be less likely to do it again. Instead of feeling bad...maybe turn the bad to glad that you got to enjoy a bit of freedom and hopefully you enjoyed the taste and sensation of all the forbidden foods. Not get back on the train...you can do it!


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