Pulling myself back up.

I screwed up.

During the holidays, I allowed myself to let my dedication, my regiment, my focus - become lax. "It's just the holidays" I repeatedly told myself. Now, here I am almost 2 months later and I’m still toying with the same 1-2 lbs. This disgusts me. I should be almost at goal by now but instead I haven’t saw 207.1 since.

Yesterday was a perfect day, back pre-Christmas days. I logged my food. I worked out. I ate healthy. Today will be another perfect day as well. I wished I had someone closer who was on the same journey. I’ve tried to reach out to people in my support group, but they are all older and hold no interest in working out or walking the trails. I see the end in sight – it’s so close. I can do this, I know I can. It just really bothers me that I got so off course over the last several weeks. But yesterday, I started pulling myself back up, back to the level of awesomeness my focus was at before.

So, going into my second day of being back on track, I want to refocus and reevaluate my goals.

As I talked about here, these are musts to be successful with the band:

• If I put it in my mouth, I write it down. If you have a Realize Band, www.realizeyoursuccess.com, is fabulous! If not, there are free sites such as livestrong.com and sparkpeople.com. I know you may think this is time consuming but if you prepare your meals the night before, take 5 minutes to journal. 
• I cook my own food. Having total control over my nutritional content gives me the power to consistently make healthy choices. I've eaten out 4 times since being banded - I searched for nutritional facts online before I went and stayed healthy with choices under 350 calories. 
• "Eat" my protein. Protein shakes are actually not recommended after you are graduated to solids, post your first fill. As we know liquids go straight through; we benefit from solids. 
• I don't drink my calories. 'tis the season for some yummy Starbucks - be careful! 
• Only protein for snacks. I've actually had a snack maybe 4-5 times since being banded, and that came before a workout. I love me some beef jerky!
• If I want something specific, I don't eat it: If I can specifically say "I want a piece of buffalo chicken pizza with extra jalapeno's, that's just head hunger. I listen to my tummy and don't eat unless I for sure know it's ready.
• Exercise. It's def a love/hate relationship; but I like the energy is gives me. 
• I don't keep snacks around. Again, I've not been a snacker since being banded. And even when I see something I think would make a good healthy snack, I just don't get them. Why start the habit?
• Graphing. I use several graphs to track my loss. It's exciting to see the progress downward. 
• Pictures. Each little milestone I hit, I take pictures. The changes excite me! 

I've noticed by biggest downfall of all since the holiday's have been eating out. Even making healthy choices is dangerous. Calories are just to unpredictable to sabotage this journey with something that is convenient. I went to the grocery store over the weekend and stocked back up on healthy foods. I will work on my menu plans for the next two weeks this afternoon and get this back on track.

As for my goals, I'm so angry - I should be within 10 lbs. of my goal weight. But, I will turn that frustration into focus and am officially back on the right road. I never totally fell off. I just basically stopped working out, in which if you remember, I was going 4-5 days per week, and I was making each meal. So, I never fell totally off the wagon.

So, my new goals are:

start: 258.8 [heaviest weight ever]

goal 1: by Labor Day

250  [✔ 9.11.10]

goal 2: by Halloween

235 [✔10.27.10]

goal 3: by Thanksgiving

220: [✔11.25.10]

goal 4: by New Year's Day (50 lb. loss)

208: [✔12.23.10]

goal 5: by March 10

199:

goal 6: by April 30 (10th Anniversary, 4/7)

170: