lots of changes.
when one is about to turn 30; your all of a sudden aware of many, many more things, than you were just a short 365 days ago. number one, you are only 10 years from being 40. 40! 40 used to be so, so far away. now, not so much. you realize that you didnt do all the exploration you had hoped, when you left home at 18 and was going to conquer the world....travel. exotic cuisine. different cultures. im confident mexican, chinese & japanese, dont count for exotic foods and having been only to 14 states, doesnt quite count for a world traveler. the only culture i know is living in the south. impressive right?
not really. 30 years old. grrr. ive done nothing.
out of high school in '97, i turned a bit rebellious. a year i wished i could go back and redo. but the past is the past and i learned much from my many mistakes. the fall of '98, i started college. a teacher. a doctor. or an accountant; my undecided goals in life. i was in college for a semester & a half when i met jamie. 10 years later, im knocking on the door of being the big "three-oh!" and i realize that im still so undecisive about things now as i was back then. for the past 7 years i did have an awesome career that i loved and enjoyed. but its not what i want to do for eternity. personally, pushing paperwork and handling corporate problems leave me feeling that i dont give much to society.
ive been in a "ive got to find myself" phase, for the last several months. probably, the last year. knowing that 30 was approaching i knew that i had to do something that i would be proud of. something big. sometimes, a lot of little things just dont add up to something big.
change 1: after two-years of taking time away from my career to foster kids; and after grieving over the last few months for no longer fostering kids...i am actively looking to go back to work full-time. ive been stir crazy for a while. im too much of a social butterfly to sit at home. it bores my brain and i get grouchy.
change 2: i start nursing school in April. im nervous. scared. excited. impatient. ive wanted to do this for a long, long time. but this has been in works for several months. i know i love people. and i love taking care of people. and helping people. i will be a great nurse.
change 3: because i am going back to work. and because i am starting nursing school. and this is all so new to me. i will be training to become a CNA the second week of January. During nursing school; I will be working as a CNA part-time. the work of CNAs arent always glamourous. but being in the hospital culture and getting the experience of the medical field, to me...is a must.
i wished i wouldve accomplished these things 5-10 years ago. but i didnt. and im doing them now. and i couldnt be happier. im looking forward to what the next several months have in store for me.