blah, blah, blah

like most everyone else, there are times that we evaluate our friends and the relationships that we have with them. now although this is not something that i do often, it can be necessary from time to time. my biggest gripe within my friends are the ones that I have had relationships with the longest but feel that the added benefits of that and the jist of it all, are often forgotten. personally, if i have been friends with someone for a coons age, years upon years, even if i dont talk to them everyday or don't see them as often as i would like - they are not demoted to any less of a friend, they are still my number 1. i feel on the receiving end of things...thats not always the case for me. i feel that the more i dont personally make an effort to call or see someone - its turns into a real life myspace page - and im demoted out of the #1 or #2 spot in their lives. and i feel that is wrong. to me, unless something bad happens between us, no matter how busy our lives get - they are always going to be my top friends - plus, its always fun to sit and catch up for hours. so, i often start a personal battle with myself - on rather they are in the right and im just being picky and non-understanding or rather i am in the right - and they need to stop being childish and understand that lives get busy but that doesnt make me anyless of a friend.
we've had 2 groups of friends lately who have had a falling out amongst them - leaving some in the middle of things. ive been within one group....2 people had falling outs with one person. ive really analyzed this in my head like crazy - and my thoughts; im friends with them all. i love 'em all to death. and i want to continue my friendships with all of them. but i get the feeling that i shouldn't because i was closer to one of the friends involved, have been friends with her for the longest but feel like im getting the silent treatment over it. that's wrong on her part, right? as i said - i love them all and my friendships shouldn't suffer because of drama that didn't involve me. well, i'm standing my grounds on this one....