aaaah. the quietness of the house. the doors to the outside world...remaining shut for longer than 10 min. at a time. no swatting at flies. cleaning up crumbled cookies on the floor or spilt fruity punch on the counter. yes, the kids are back in school. and today was wonderful. i saw peace that i hadn't saw since, well - the last day of school, in May. so nice. my house is clean. there aren't an army of flies joining the forces with the other army's that set up camp in my house this summer - due to the running in and out of the little ones. and the best thing - i actually have juice in the fridge when i go and get some - instead of an empty container. nah - i missed the little ones today, but not as much as i enjoyed my peace and quiet for a few hours.
tomorrow is the first meeting at DCS since June, along with a new case manager for tater. i hope she is on the ball and the ball is in tater's court. as the days pass, the thought of her birth mom sickens my stomach even more. this little girl does not need to go back to that sorry excuse for a mother. its in the process of going to court that her visits be terminated indefinatly, until further notice - which will be wonderful! she never talks about her birth mom or family. she is happy here. healthy here. clean here. loved here. im sure until it gets passed in court - we will have to have a visit this week, which i will not be thrilled about, and recommend that it is in the DCS office with non-stop supervision. (like me watching thru the 1-way mirror in the visitiation room). i love this little girl so much. yes, it's exhausting trying to shape her into a normal, healthly, happy, and clean little girl - but it's all worth it. i pray, pray so hard, that she doesn't return to the birth mom. we want her forever.