lovely reads

its raining again today.

whatever the weather where your at, i hope you have a beautiful day.

i do hope to finish my book, today.

ive been reading forever, due to a busy schedule.

hopefully i can wrap it up as i have a

new project that awaits.

see it here.

loves.

currently reading:

smile

it has rained so much lately.

i usually don't complain, as i love the rain - the sound. the smells. the breezes that come with it;

but it has rained so much. that its really hard to recall any days of sunshine that we've had.

they say all the rain and cooler weather will make for beautiful fall foliage. && that im excited about that. we are awaiting the leaf changes, as we are having fall photos done outside.

& these, embarassingly so, will be our first professional photos really since our engagement,

or, of course the wedding. ridiculous, right?

ive asked for a new camera for Christmas, one of the fancy ones.

i had one, once. didn't know what i had, and sold it on ebay.

i chalk that up, as yet another time, "my momma was right."

let me tell you the story, the brief version.

i once went on a business trip to new orleans.

my hotel card key was stolen. and my hotel room broken into.

i didn't realize this until i started looking for my cell phone charger, which was in my laptop bag.

i quickly realized that my laptop,

the laptop bag which also had my cell phone charger and billfold,

my camera; fancier than the one i have now, but not as fancy as the one i want, &

my purse - weren't in my room.

i call hotel security.

they could do nothing.

&& this was the hilton garden.

so they called the police.

the report wast taken.

the next morning. i got a strange call on my cell -

from a man who owned a business several blocks away.

he verified my name and the company i worked for.

he had my business card.

a card in which he had found inside my laptop bag -

that he had found stashed in a hot dog cart, outside his office.

the police was called and it was returned to me.

my camera never was recovered.

this camera was so special to me.

it was my gift from the Mr; one Christmas when we didn't have much.

so getting it back, my efforts were relentless.

the hotel wouldn't replace it.

my company wasn't going to replace it. but, they did.

&& with the much flashier. much more complicated one.

all i saw was numbers on the shiny digital screen. it was colored a crisp black.

even came with a lens; that had to be used. but it was all german to me.

i tried & tried to figure this camera out, but no luck.

so on ebay it went; & in return i got a way cheaper digital camera & a new desktop computer.

&& it wasn't until after it sold, did i realize - i had one of those fancy ones.

so heres to hoping santa has noticed how sweet ive been, this year.

what a sweet week

i lived a little

.....yesterday.

i stepped out of the box.

i ate sushi.

yes.....

i.ate.sushi.

[crunchy tuna roll - yes. spicy tuna roll - yes. crab roll - no.]

this was a big deal.

&& then there was the crayfish.

nuh. uh.

i also tried

edamame

& loved them.

[as a recommendation from a sweet blog friend]

this was fun stuff.

who can mind the rain

when it leaves behind rainbows

[afternoon thunderstorm, october 9]

loving this

im totally the opposite of most human beings.

as many prefer summer, i prefer fall.

summer months are spent mostly in air conditioned living,

taking the opportunity for an occasional cookout.

but during the fall and winter, you can't keep me inside.

the last few days we have spent alot of time on our local greenbelt; twelve miles of beautiful trail that encompasses our county, set aside creeks and beautiful nature.

on wednesday afternoon, sweet hubbs and i went letterboxing for the first time, thanks to the introduction by my sweet blog friend Sarah Ruth.

its a scavenger hunt, of sorts. it was so much fun. so much fun, infact i have already scoped out new locations on our small trip we have planned this weekend, to attend the 30th fall homecoming of the Museum of Appalachia [here]

[random pics taken from our local greenbelt, downtown]

im moving on, at last i can see - life has been patienty waiting for me....

the past six days have been good days.
perfect days, perhaps.
i have accomplished a few things i needed to finish around the house.
a few, still a work in progress.
i love when my days off fall into week long stretches.
indeed, it makes it very hard to go back, but this entire schedule and position, is only temporary.
my wonderful mom is coming over today.
the two rooms that belonged to our beloved foster children
have remained the same, since they all in september of last year.
i had made small steps, very small steps, throughout the year to slowly pack their things -
but only in small moments of weakness.
i felt if their stuff was out and kept the same- their spirits would not leave.
it's took a year to finally accept that what happened - was meant to be.
i can't say i didn't question. nor, can i say i wasn't hurt. angry. frustrated. defeated.
but time heals wounds - and with the healing also brings understanding and acceptance.
so, on monday - i took down all pictures, except the three that remain behind the sofa, perhaps those shall stay there, and packed them away. easily accessible, in the event i need to see my sweet babies again, but far enough away that they wan't be there. in front of me. within reach. during my moments of weakness.
today, we are packing up their things that were left behind.
the rooms have pretty much remained the same. toys where they left them. shoes where they were last taken off. clothes in the drawers.
no, this wasn't healthy. but as a grieving process, its how it had to be.
and i am now able to move on.
& place their precious things, that were left behind, away.
change the bedding.
paint the walls.
take away all their drawings. play-dough creations. the tiny broken crayons in the corners of the room.
for i am ready to move on, happily.
i am no longer sad.
i am happy that they were apart of our lives.
& that for a moment in time, we were able to give these precious children love. happiness. acceptance. family.
we love them still, always will.

with us finally reaching the ability of acceptance and the vision to move on,
i made the call yesterday to transition into a new foster care agency - so we can move forward and become
parents again to some more precious children.
the agency we are using specializes in young, sibling groups.
we will continue our fertility treatments - but we know we have
been lead to be parents to these neglected children.
our heart belongs with them.
we pray this will be a quick and smooth transition.
& that this time, we will be blessed even more & be able to move forward with adoption.

sweetest hello

hello thirties.

you welcomed me with such a wonderful, fall weekend of camping.

although i had reservations about going away for my birthday, away as in outside the realm of all communications, once we pulled on to the gravely mountain road - my heart was happy.

my husband is that of perfection; what a wonderful job he did planning.

he is the sweetest, most compassionate, caring person. i love him, completely.

the freating we do over age. it is kind of silly.

i said my prayers & thanked my dear Savior for another day, another year.

but -because i do freat. and i do put big deals on birthdays.

- this is a new beginning for me.

not one tear did i end up shedding the day of my birthday.

i really surprised myself.

i am happy to report i did not spend the day in bed with a gallon of ice cream, bottles of wine and boxes of kleenex - instead, i woke up with such a rejuvenating sense of life.

i was no longer thinking of what i had missed out on or hadn't accomplished.

or of the silly girls who had recently hurt me;

but only what i have to look forward too and the many new things that awaits.

i have so many wonderful and new exciting things coming up in the next few weeks and months.

i plan on making the most of every minute.

i am happy. i am loved. i am blessed.

happy birthday to me.

the beautiful sunrise the morning of my birthday.

a perfect morning.

our sweet home away from home.

thanks my darling for this photo op @ 6:00 in the morning,

after awaking you to build a fire -

thanks for this perfect birthday weekend.

our toasty camp fire where wonderful memories are made.

happiest birthday to me.

sitting around the fire with my precious dusty dog.

more beautiful signs of fall.